Supporting Your Child with Autism on Valentine’s Day

Feb 10, 2025

You step into the grocery store, and you’re surrounded by pink and red balloons, teddy bears, and chocolate hearts. Is it February already? As you make your way through the aisles, you find yourself doing everything you can to redirect your child’s attention from the stuffed animals and preparing for the Valentine's candy display at the checkout counter.

A holiday that revolves around treats, gift giving, and romance can be overwhelming for anyone. For kids with social, intellectual, and other developmental deficits, Valentine’s Day celebrations at school can present special challenges. Among the challenges of Valentine’s Day might be celebrating in large groups, navigating the social minefield of giving and getting Valentine’s cards and gifts (including feeling left out if they aren’t received), or simply walking through the grocery store without getting to buy all of the treats.

Here are some helpful tips to get through the holiday:

• Talk with your child’s school. Discuss Valentine's Day with your child's teachers. Be honest and direct with your child's school staff about any previous experience your child may have had. Ask your child's teachers/support staff about how they have previously approached Valentine’s Day celebrations for students with special needs. Ask your child’s school if they have an “all-inclusive rule” where everyone gives and receives a card, candy, or flowers. If so, get a list of names ahead of time, and be sure to ask your teachers about any allergies. Preparing in advance will help kids who need more time to fill out each Valentine message.
• Support your child in writing notes. If your child will have trouble writing individual notes, buy pre-made packs of Valentine’s cards. It may be fun for your child to pick out cards with their favorite character on it. Personally, I’ll be buying Frozen 2 and Avenger cards. If writing is out of the question, consider getting your child's name as a sticker or stamp from Etsy. A sticker or stamp is a cute and creative way to easily place a name on a card.
• Talk with your child about what to expect during school celebrations. Use social stories and role plays for likely Valentine’s Day interactions. (I frequent this site and found a FREE digital download specifically for Valentine’s Day!) Practice coping skills, conversation skills, and perspective-taking skills tailored to your child and Valentine’s Day.
• Make a Valentine’s mailbox together. Allow your child to use markers, crayons, stickers, and googly eyes (Let their creative juices flow!) to decorate their own mailbox for the Valentine’s cards they’ll be receiving. Consider making it a family activity.
• Celebrate at home. Sometimes school celebrations can be an overload and unenjoyable for children. Have your child pass out goodies/cards to the family members in your home. It’s a great opportunity to practice “please” and “thank you”. It might be important for families to celebrate with their kids outside of school so that the child knows what to expect and how to respond.

If you or your family need extra support surrounding Valentine’s Day, chat with one of the BCBAs at AnswersNow to create a plan specifically for your child.